The Child I Used to Be
The Child I Used To Be
Intro — Soft music box, distant piano, atmospheric strings
Female — Whispered, childlike, fragile
Do you remember me?
The little girl you left behind...
Male — Soft, breaking
I never left you...
I just learned how to hide.
Verse 1 — Female — Intimate, emotional
There was a little girl with a world inside her eyes,
Who learned to swallow tears and tell convincing lies.
She knew the sound of footsteps coming down the hall,
And how to make herself feel smaller than the walls.
She learned that being quiet meant another peaceful night,
That saying she was sorry somehow made things right.
She kept her dreams in boxes underneath her bed,
And carried all the words she wished she'd never heard.
Verse 2 — Male — Deep, restrained, building
There was a little boy who never got to cry,
Who learned that being strong meant keeping pain inside.
He wore a brave expression, took the blame for everything,
And never understood the hurt that silence brings.
He grew into a man who couldn't ask for help,
Who spent his whole damn life at war against himself.
And every time somebody raised their voice too high,
He became that frightened boy he buried deep inside.
Pre-Chorus — Female and Male — Harmonising
Female
We were only children...
Male
Trying to survive...
Both
Still carrying the moments
That we thought we'd left behind.
Chorus — Both — Explosive cinematic rock
I'M STILL THE CHILD I USED TO BE!
Behind the scars nobody sees!
I learned to run before I walked,
Learned to stay silent when I should've talked!
BUT I WAS YOUNG, I WAS AFRAID!
I DIDN'T DESERVE THE PRICE I PAID!
And though the years have changed my face,
That little child still needs a safe place!
Verse 3 — Female — Growing confidence
I see her in the mirror when the lights are getting low,
The little girl who thought that she had nowhere else to go.
I wish that I could hold her, tell her none of it was fair,
That she wasn't the reason for the anger in the air.
Male — Joining, emotional
And I see that little boy when I'm staring at the floor,
Still waiting for the shouting and the slamming of the door.
I'd tell him he's not weak because he's frightened of the night,
And he never had to earn the right to feel alright.
Fast Rap — Male — Rapid, intense, increasingly aggressive
I remember every second, every shadow, every sound,
Every time I held my breath when there was anger all around.
Every promise that was broken, every secret that I kept,
Every morning wearing smiles after nights I never slept.
I was seven, I was shaking, I was trying to understand,
Why the people meant to hold me only taught me how to stand
In the middle of a storm that I was never meant to face,
With a thousand silent questions and a fear I couldn't name.
Now I'm older, now I'm standing, but the memories remain,
And a sudden sound can drag me through a decade of the pain.
I'm a grown man in the daylight, I'm a child behind the door,
Still rehearsing conversations that won't happen anymore.
I don't need another lecture saying time will make it heal,
When you haven't spent a lifetime trying not to let yourself feel.
I don't need you to explain why they did the things they did,
I just needed someone standing up and fighting for that kid!
Female — Fast Rap — Fierce, rhythmically escalating
I was taught to be forgiving, I was taught to understand,
Told to keep the peace together with a shaking little hand.
Told the past was in the past, that I should leave it all behind,
But you can't erase the damage just by saying you'll be fine.
Every boundary that I struggled with, every time I couldn't speak,
Every time I called myself a failure just for feeling weak,
Every relationship I questioned, every kindness I mistrust,
Every time somebody loved me and I waited for the dust
To come falling from the ceiling when the perfect picture cracked,
'Cause I learned that love was something that could suddenly attack.
But I'm breaking every pattern, I'm unlearning what I knew,
And the voice inside my head is finally sounding like the truth!
Both — Fast, overlapping, building to breakdown
Male
WE WERE CHILDREN, NOT THE REASON!
Female
WE WERE HURTING, NOT THE PROBLEM!
Male
WE WERE LOOKING FOR PROTECTION!
Female
WE WERE DESPERATE TO BE HEARD!
Both
AND THE SILENCE THAT YOU GAVE US
WAS THE LOUDEST THING WE HEARD!
Breakdown — Music drops to solo piano
Female — Soft, tearful
If I could go back to that little girl,
I'd tell her she was worth the world.
Male — Almost whispered
If I could stand beside that boy,
I'd give him back his stolen joy.
Female
You didn't have to be so brave...
Male
You weren't the one who needed to change...
Both — Quiet, close harmonies
And we don't have to hide anymore.
Final Chorus — Full band, soaring harmonies
I'M STILL THE CHILD I USED TO BE!
BUT NOW THAT CHILD IS SAFE WITH ME!
I'LL GIVE THEM ALL THE LOVE THEY MISSED,
AND TELL THEM THEY DESERVED TO EXIST!
WE WERE YOUNG, WE WERE AFRAID!
WE DIDN'T DESERVE THE PRICE WE PAID!
THE PAST MAY ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME,
BUT IT WON'T DECIDE WHO I'M GONNA BE!
Outro — Piano, strings, music box returning
Female — Whispered
Do you remember me?
Male — Gentle
Every day.
Female
Are we going to be okay?
Male
We don't have to know everything yet.
Both — Soft harmonies
But we're not alone anymore.
